THE moral obligation to apologise over a perceived offence not only concerns the merits of the case, whatever they may be. It also reflects the character of the person involved.

They say it takes a big man to apologise, meaning that the strong, the confident and the responsible are more prepared to offer their heartfelt regret, making them better leaders. Others who stubbornly reject such gestures of conciliation tend only to aggravate the situation.

These issues are especially pertinent in a heterogeneous society, where the different sensibilities and sensitivities require mature persons to tread with care. Since Malaysia is often held up as a model of a multi-ethnic society, their relevance here is all too evident.

Those who say Bukit Bendara Umno division head Datuk Ahmad Ismail need not apologise to his Chinese fellow Malaysians he had offended because a blogger and Hindraf did not apologise for their allegations, miss the point. There is no real comparison here.

The blogger in question ridiculed the national anthem and conceivably offended the state as an institution. The Hindraf movement alleged the government of the day, not an entire race, had engaged in ethnic cleansing.

Neither of these two previous instances had denigrated any ethnic community as a whole, from the position of a dominant majority, expressed by a public representative of a reputable party. Individuals and ad hoc NGOs are not on the same rung as a senior member of a major governing party.

Another troubling aspect here is how the muhibbah issue is effectively handed over to Pakatan Rakyat on a silver platter, while some in Barisan Nasional give the government a black eye. Those who reject any apology from Ahmad only undermine the Barisan?s standing on the issue, whether or not they are still members of a Barisan party.

The other problem is how such incendiary remarks are at odds with scientific fact. Since human civilisation originated from Africa, we are all relative immigrants and immigrant relatives anyway.

Today, every civilised country sees even first-generation immigrants expecting, demanding and receiving equal rights as responsible citizens. However, responsible leaders matching the people they claim to represent are always at a premium.

This article was first published in The Star on Sep 7, 2008.