WHEN the New Sunday Times contacted the host of one of the biggest swingers group in the country, he was hesitant to speak to us.

"This is a discreet community, and as you know in Malaysia we cannot openly talk about this. Although these activities have been happening for a long time here and in many other countries, we are very cautious and afraid that the authorities will take action against us," Chong (not his real name) said.

Most of the members, he said, are either successful business people or prominent corporate figures who place great importance in keeping their swinging activities a secret.

"I'm also afraid that after the article is out, the authorities may pressure you to disclose information about us. I'm still unsure about this. I need to consult my wife first."

Two days later, after getting his wife's approval, Chong told us what goes on at these parties.

He said people join swinging groups by invitation from other members or by paying a monthly fee of RM150. The owner of the group, or host, is the only one who can approve a membership.

"Upon joining, you will receive an email asking for personal details. You must include your phone number and attach a current picture of you and your partner."

He said charges per session vary according to the hotel and number of people.

"We share the cost of the hotel room. It is usually between RM50 and RM70 per couple. We try to meet at least once a month. Some members organise private meetings, without the knowledge of the club, where they invite selected couples."

Chong said occasionally they had last minute parties. This usually happened when there was a foreign couple visiting Malaysia with a request to meet swingers.

The members, he said, are in their 20s to late 40s. "Most of the women are in their 20s, and the men in their late 30s or early 40s. We only have a handful of members in their 50s."

Swingers who attend the party, he said, are free to bring whatever items they want.

"Some items are compulsory, like protection and towels. Other things like adult toys are optional. You are welcome to bring soft drinks, beer, liquor and even finger food if you want."

He said there is usually a minimum of four couples per session. But they have had up to 10 couples at a party.

"Swingers prefer more couples, the more the merrier. You have more choices to swap and watch."

He said first timers do not need to swap partners until they are ready. But being naked is a requirement.

"The majority of first timers are hesitant to swap partners in the beginning. But as the party goes late into the night, they get more and more comfortable."

Safety of female members, Chong said, is assured. "There is one house rule which is final. When a lady says 'no' to a guy or couple, it means 'no'."

So, how does a swinging party work? "We start with casual conversation. Then proceed to card games where the loser has to strip off a piece of clothing. This goes on until everyone is naked. After that, couples take turns to shower and sometimes two couples shower together.

"After showering, we cover the room with comforters from the bed. Couples usually start the session with their own partner. Eventually they move on to other members. One thing leads to another and it goes on until midnight."

Although many are choosing this lifestyle, he said, swinging is not for everyone.

"You must ensure your partner, especially the lady, is ready and willing to watch her partner with other women, in the same room."