MY boyfriend and I are both divorced with children who are now working.

We have been together for the past two years but we only get to see each other maybe twice a week due to our busy schedules. His weekend is always spent with his children while I am with mine.

My children and friends know about my relationship with him but his kids and kin do not know about us. He says this is between us and there is no need to let everyone know and 'just let it be'.

He has told me that he is still staying in the same house with his ex-wife but has no feelings towards her.

She has her own house but refuses to stay in it. He has tried many times to throw her out but she refuses to budge.

Sometimes she would come home drunk at night and start banging the doors and shouting loudly, disturbing the neighbour.

All this did not affect our relationship until recently, when she found out that he had been seeing me.

She then threatened to commit suicide. She has also called me hundreds of times and sent me vulgar, threatening text messages.

I wanted to make a police report but he did not want me to as this would involve him and his children.

I have told him many times to put a stop to all this and to move out of the house but he is hesitant as he still has his responsibilities to his children.

Now I am unable to call or text him at night as his ex is always at home. He dares not even call, text or meet me as he worries that his ex may follow him.

What am I do?

Lost and Helpless

YOUR guy is weak and selfish. He is also an idiot. Since he is already divorced, there is no excuse to keep you a secret from his children and family.

Maybe you should just stop seeing him until he is prepared to get rid of his shrew of an ex-wife.

He appears to be fearful of his ex and does not have the courage to put a stop to her bullying ways and dreadful behaviour.

He should be man enough to warn her off by making police reports instead of stopping you from making one.

Sure, he might want to protect his kids from such ugliness. But what man would allow his ex to barge into his home, upsetting his kids and neighbours?

And while no one wants to be responsible for a suicide, perhaps she is calling his bluff? He could make the necessary police reports to keep her away from his house and from you. He must show his ex that he is serious about the divorce and that he wants you in his life. She must accept that her marriage is over. Perhaps she needs psychiatric counselling. Your boyfriend could talk to her and steer her towards help and a better life than being a mean and miserable menace to others.

You deserve better than to be chucked on the sideline while your boyfriend allows his ex to create havoc. You should be sharing his life, too, and not kept in the dark like a dirty secret.