I AM in my early 30s while my wife is in her mid-20s. We have been married for three happy years now. My problem started when I lost my job and soon our savings ran low. As a last resort, I had to borrow money from a loan shark. I couldn't pay the debt in the end and had to face their wrath. They did many things such as throw paint in my house and stuck up posters about my debt.
Then they came to my house and harassed me. They forcefully took my wife. I tried to hold on to her but they beat me up. I made a police report and started to search for her but I couldn't find her. After several days, they sent her back. She looked tired and in a mess. She told me that they took nude photographs of her and raped her. She felt very humiliated since they filmed the whole thing.
She didn't talk to me after that. I am feeling very guilty and feel I am responsible. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
YOU should feel guilty and responsible as you must be well aware of the consequences of borrowing from loan sharks. The media has been highlighting the living hell of having to deal with torture and harassment as so many borrowers were not able to pay off the ballooning rates.
What happened to your wife was one of the worst cases of loan shark retaliation. How could she live with the horrible memories of being gang-raped and filmed in the nude? Think of the psychological and emotional effects on her. How many of us can remain sane and unaffected after such an inhumane ordeal? Forcefully taken from her own home, her husband beaten and helpless, how could she ever feel safe again?
She needs help. Get in touch with support groups like the Women's Aid Organisation (WAO) at firstname.lastname@example.org or 03-7956 3488. Victims of such trauma need counselling and psychological therapy to heal unseen wounds. She is unable to talk to you because the shame must be too much to bear. Rape is the ultimate abuse of the mind and body of a woman. While you had foolishly borrowed the money out of need and desperation, she was made to pay as a lesson to you.
Report your case to the police. Seek help from the relevant authorities. Get a job and earn a living. Make sure that you never have to resort to borrowings. Take care of your wife. She needs love and understanding. Give her time to heal and do not insist on sex until she is ready. Sadly, one such mistake will haunt you and your wife for a lifetime.