My brother caught me dating

I am a university student and in love with a guy. My brother caught us dating. My parents got to know about this and they were disappointed because the guy is of a different religion.

They have asked me to break up with him. My brother told me if he were to hear that I'm still in love with that guy, he would whack him.

The guy is a very kind and caring person and he really loves me. My parents disapprove of our relationship just because of his religion.

I'm seriously in love with him and I don't want to lose him. At the same time, I don't want to lose my family too. I'm so confused and don't know how to solve this.

Torn gal

Your family sounds pretty adamant that you stop seeing this guy. Your brother threatening to use violence against him shows how serious they are about it.

He may just be issuing a threat, in the hope that it will scare you enough to do as he says. Or, he may actually mean what he says.

From your letter, you yourself may risk banishment from your family should you continue your relationship with this guy. If marriage is what the two of you are looking at, you may have to change your religion, or he may have to. As religion is a sticky issue for most families, both of you may face difficulties when you make this decision.

Given the situation, you and your boyfriend will have to know the risks involved if you were to pursue your relationship further. If you defy your family and their wishes, you risk losing a lot, and so does he. And, he risks his safety too.

If both of you are indeed serious about each other, then some serious action is needed on your part.

Even the threat of violence is a crime and you and/or your boyfriend can lodge a police report against your brother.

You would have to come up with a backup plan if your family does decide to cut ties with you. How would you continue your education? Where would you live? You would have to work out your finances too.

There are many decisions to make and you will need to plan all this carefully.

In light of all the planning involved, it may be best for you to take your time to think things through and sort out some important matters. Lie low, so as to not incite your family's anger.

In the meantime, see if they are open to changing their minds. Rushing this is not going to help anyone.

Become a fan on Facebook