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"That old saying, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me', is utter nonsense," Salmah* insists. "I am living proof that words can leave lasting scars."
As an overweight teenager, Salmah was tormented by her schoolmates throughout adolescence.
"While boys would just call me 'fatty', the girls were especially vicious. Whenever I was within earshot, they would speculate about how I would never find a husband due to my 'grotesque' appearance."
The verbal abuse pushed Salmah to seek refuge in food; she developed an eating disorder and suffered bouts of self-loathing.
Now happily married with two daughters of her own, she feels that she could have handled the name-calling better.
"But when you're at that age, you don't have a lot of self-assurance to begin with. That's why I make it a point to instil confidence in my children - I tell them how beautiful they are every single day."
Kevin*, who was also constantly bullied in secondary school, says that many passive aggressive mental games were played out against him.
"Once I sat down in Chemistry class, and immediately, everyone around me left."
Incidents like that happened throughout his school years, and while he was spared the knocks and bruises, the mental torture still affects him today.
"I think such encounters have made me sceptical. Until today, I believe that people are 'guilty until proven innocent'."
He claims his school experience has also resulted in his gloomy outlook and a wariness about trusting people.
"Sometimes, I wish I was still naive and innocent."
Kevin, now a successful consultant in KL, adds: "I feel good knowing that those people who used to make my life miserable can see me move up the corporate ladder, while they are still struggling to get out of where they are."
Prof Datin Dr Noran Fauziah Yaakub, former president and current council member of the Malaysian Psychological Association (PSIMA), says:
"The impact of bullying on victims is subjective as it depends on the personality of the child. While some are resilient and can weather the abuse, other victims may bear the scars for a long time."
She adds that there is enough research to suggest that a significant proportion of victims suffer from low self-esteem and continue to be bitter about their past, right up to young adulthood.
Dr Noran believes parents play a key role in offering guidance and should not simply brush off complaints from their children about bullying.
"Speak to your children and gauge their personalities. From there, have an open discussion on possible and practical solutions to deal with the bullying. This sort of parent-child relationship is also important in helping bullies manage their anger."
The target
As the product of a Malay mother and a Chinese father, life for Gary Anwar was no walk in the park, especially in secondary school.
"I was like an outsider because I mixed more with the non-Muslims. A few boys at school always picked on me. Sometimes, they would wait outside the gate to beat me up after school," says Gary, who remembers being picked on by his teachers, too.
"I was punched on my first day of school. All I did was look at a girl who smiled back at me. That very day, her boyfriend and a few other students cornered me during recess and punched me."
Did he lodge any report?
"If they want to beat you up, they will. Reporting to teachers will only make the situation worse. Once, my father went to school to complain. That got me into more trouble when the boys found out."
Gary, now a chef working in Kuala Lumpur, has put the ugly incidents behind and moved on with life.
"I don't think I bear any grudges. But if there is one thing I could have wished for, it would be that I was bigger in size. Then I wouldn't have been picked on so easily."
* Names have been changed.
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