By Tay Suan Chiang

Getting children to help with housework may seem like no big deal, but for some parents, it can be a chore.

Housewife Tio Hui Siang, 54, has given up asking son Jonathan Tan, 15, to help out around the house. When he wants a cup of Milo, he just asks for it, and mum makes it for him at once.

'I tried asking him to do everything on his own but he can be stubborn and lazy, so I am letting him be now,' she says.

Indeed, Straits Times reader, pastor Loke Parc Sen, 45, wrote to the Forum page recently lamenting that 'many children today grow up in homes where they are not required to do anything'.

His comments were in response to a report on Singaporeans shunning service jobs.

'The real underlying reason is that Singaporeans feel it is below their dignity to serve others,' the father of three said in his letter.

However, a poll of 250 youths by LifeStyle shows that contrary to the image of slacker teens not lifting a finger around the home, the majority do help out with chores.

Those surveyed were aged from 13 to 20 and they were asked what chores they did from a list of 10, which included mopping or sweeping the floor, making the bed and washing the dishes.

A total of 170 said they did chores. Another 35 said they do them occasionally, while 45 youths said they do not help around the home at all.

The most popular chores included getting their own drink, getting their own meals, frying an egg and making the bed.

Ngee Ann Polytechnic student Sandy Goh, 19, says she does these chores 'even though there is a maid at home to do them'.

Joey Hwang, 16, a student from CHIJ Toa Payoh, says: 'I do chores at home even though we have a part-time maid. It is necessary to help out because it trains me to be self-reliant.'

The majority of the youths did not bother with household chores such as the laundry and ironing, choosing to leave such tasks to their maids or mothers.

Ngee Ann Polytechnic student Yvonne Ng, 18, says she only 'does chores that are easier and less time-consuming', such as washing her own dishes and making her bed. The laundry is done by her mother.

Similarly, ACS (Independent) student Stephanie Low, 18, does not clean her own room or mop the floor.

'I have a maid and I'd rather leave the chores to her,' she says.

There was no such leeway when letter writer Mr Loke was a youngster. From the age of about 11, he would do household chores such as ironing and mopping the floor. The family did not have a maid.

Today, he still helps out around the house and gets his two older teenage children to help, too.

'Ever since they were able to hold a broom, they were taught to sweep and mop the floor. They take turns to wash the dishes and take out the laundry,' he says.

He is now teaching his youngest daughter, three, to take her cups and plates to the kitchen sink after she has eaten.

However, parents such as curator P. Achary, 49, who has two teenagers, feels it is not necessary for children to help out. Ms Archary has a maid.

'My kids don't do chores because it is not their job and they have no time. They can't be bothered, either,' she says. 'My maid also spoils them.'

On the other hand, public relations consultant Wong Su Ling expects her teenagers to help out although they have a maid.

Her children set and clear the dining table each day.

'I believe they should try to help whenever they can. It's just courtesy,' says Madam Wong, who is in her 40s.

Dr Paulin Straughan, deputy head of the department of sociology at the National University of Singapore, notes that parents may not insist that their children help around the home because 'if they free the kids from mundane chores, the children have more time to focus on enrichment programmes'.

Still, Mr Loke feels that doing chores is one of the basic skills in life.

'It belongs to the same category as self-grooming. It develops personal responsibility and discipline,' he says.

Washing dishes at 11

Leave the dirty work to the maids

When Chee Xiu Quan was 11, his mother thought it would be good to involve him in household chores. Mrs Lisa Chee, 47, started by asking the elder of her two sons to help out with the dishes after family meals. Doing the dishes is now a regular household task for the 15-year-old. His 13-year- old brother, Wen Quan, now helps out as well. They take turns with the washing, drying and putting away of dishes each week. The family of four live in a four-room HDB flat in Bishan and do not have a maid. The boys' other chores include tidying their study table, changing bedsheets and picking up breakfast from a nearby food centre for the family every Sunday morning. Besides making his own bed and getting his own drinks, Xiu Quan also knows how to fry an egg and get his own meals when his parents are not at home. He says: 'It's important to help out with the chores at home because it's a good hands-on experience and you learn important life skills and responsibility.' His mum and his dad, Mr David Chee, 52, who are in the education business, are happy their children are helping out. His mother says: 'I started them off with easier chores and now that they are more independent, they can help out, which is nice as it shows appreciation for their parents. 'Doing chores also cultivates a sense of responsibility which children should have towards the family, unlike previous generations where only the girls were expected to do chores.' Rachael Boon

LifeStyle's poll may have found that the majority of youths do chores around the house, but don't count 19-year-old Lukas Neo Wei Shen among them. This Ngee Ann Polytechnic student was unabashed about coming clean and saying that doing the dirty work is a rare occurrence for him. Lukas says: 'Besides cleaning my own room and getting my own drink, I don't really see a need to do anything else. 'I've never had to learn how to do household chores, either.' Still, his take is not that surprising, as his family of two parents and five children aged from nine to 22 have two maids to look after their 21/2storey bungalow in Yio Chu Kang. Lukas' parents are self-employed and run their own business. The mass communications student adds: 'I only clean my room because I'm afraid that my maids would misplace my things. Other than that, they handle the rest of the chores.' Lukas' mother, Mrs Helen Neo, 45, does the housework only on weekends herself as she is busy running her business. 'We have had maids to do them for over 15 years already,' says Mrs Neo. 'Besides, I want my children to focus on their schoolwork, projects and jobs.'   Valerie Wang

Additional reporting by Natasha Ann Zachariah, Nur Shakylla Saifudin and Fiona Low.

Photos by Joyce Fang and Stephanie Yeow

This article was first published in The Straits Times.