Pent-up libido

A month ago, I asked to break up with my girlfriend of eight years. We're both in our mid-30s and were rarely intimate in the last few years. I was the one who always initiated sex and she obliged.

I don't feel the connection and passion anymore. She has lost interest in me and this makes me feel unloved and neglected. She could go on for a month or more without wanting to make love. But I just wanted to spend more time connecting emotionally and physically.

We saw each other often and did other activities together as a couple. I know intimacy may not be the most important factor in a loving and long-lasting relationship, but it was frustating as I have a healthy libido, so I turned to masturbating to fulfil my need.

I even confessed this to her and told her that I'm afraid I might even cheat on her over time - which is something I absolutely detest as it goes against everything we've worked for in our relationship.

I even tried dressing up and doing other things to spice up things between us. The last thing I want is to make her feel low and inadequate. I want us to work on our relationship and close the "void" between us.

I have addressed this issue and expressed myself on many occasions. But she never put much effort into it, even after various discussions.

We have been through thick and thin together and I love her so much, more than she could ever imagine.

When I asked to break up, she didn't defend herself or say anything; I even sensed relief on her part. I know her well enough to realise that she, too, had been thinking of a separation, but for how long I don't know.

I didn't tell anyone about our split because, at the back of my mind, I still hoped for a reconciliation, no matter how remote the chance. But she announced it to her family and friends almost immediately and I was disheartened.

We're still in touch via ocasionaI text messages. Although I'm the one who broke off our relationship, I'm hurting badly inside and feel a huge void. I miss her terribly and find it difficult to let her go.

Help L

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