By Tay Yek Keak

IT'S a startling confession: "I have had sex with women who work for me on this show."

With that, talk-show host David Letterman became a punchline in his own show, joining a slew of celebrity philanderers he often joked about with unbridled gusto.

Here's a recap if you don't know the case.

The host of Late Show With David Letterman, the highestrated late-night talk show in the United States, admitted to his audience last week that he was being threatened by TV producer Robert "Joe" Halderman, who demanded US$2 million (S$2.8 million) or he'd reveal "terrible" things about Letterman's sexcapades with female staff members.

Or, the blackmailer would nail him by writing a screenplay about it, presumably to turn it into a movie far more sordid than Last Tango In Paris; Lust, Caution; and Paris Hilton's sex tape combined.

The whole thing became like a cheap TV thriller, with the extortioner caught in a sting operation involving a fake cheque.

Are you laughing yet? My mouth was hanging wide open because the episode sounded like a comic skit - Law & Order: Special Idiots Unit.

The audience, stunned by his revelation, laughed at first, thinking it was a Dave sketch before realising that there was a sensational dark deed in there.

But I realised suddenly that sex scandals, once entrenched in the domain of shock, sadness, hurt, destruction of family and eternal pain, has crossed over to become part of the fine art of terrific, compelling comedy.

Letterman's admission to his salacious transgressions prompted a mini industry in guessing who got, you know, the rub on his couch.

But it also points to something even more odious: that his pre-emptive tactic of assuming the role of the victim before the news broke, is the way to score a moral victory in something less than moral.

And, if you could turn it into a great skit, man, you've hit comedy gold.

To be fair, the crotchety 62-year-old host apparently did those wild things before he got married in March this year.

Now, you can't actually blame that rabid consuming culture he's facing.

After all, where people in other places could get stoned for licentious behaviour, it turns into prime-time entertainment in America, where celebrity and instant fame are gleefully anointed.

That's not necessarily a bad thing because, while the jokes go on, the fame does too.

But here's the way to confess and turn things around - a serious jumpstart admission, couched in nervous humour, would go a long way towards deflecting guilty reflection.

In hindsight, if Bill Clinton had said yes immediately instead of "I did not have sex with that woman"; if beleaguered South Carolina governor Mark Sanford had said he was flying off to see his Argentinian "soulmate" instead of pretending to go on a mountain walk; if former US presidential candidate John Edwards hadn't sneaked in and out of a hotel room to see his mistress, they would be as happy and upfront as Italian playboypremier Silvio Berlusconi, wondering what the affair over affairs is all about.

Letterman has overturned his trouble by doubling it into a dubious comedy routine.

By the way, his production company is ironically called Worldwide Pants.

Really, who cares if that just keeps dropping all over?

myp@sph.com.sg

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