|
By Teh Jen Lee
CONTRARY to what many think, men also get sexually harassed.
And the predator is more likely to be a stranger than a family or friend.
Take a 19-year-old NSman, who gave his name as Nicholas L, who had a harrowing experience with a male stranger at a public pool.
He was swimming alone while the man kept looking at him and smiling.
He said: 'He came up to me while I was resting at the pool side, complimented me on my tan body and told me he loved to masturbate. Then he started demanding my handphone number and tried to get me to follow him to the toilet.'
Nicholas quickly changed and ran off, but the man started following and even drove his car along the kerb to chase him.
He said: 'Thank goodness I hopped on a random bus and got away.
He added that it was very nauseating to recount the incident. He was so 'freaked out' that he almost wanted to 'run to the police'.
It's often the case that sexual-harassment victims don't report what happened to the authorities because they don't think the incident is important enough.
Passive
According to a poll of 80 men by The New Paper, eight have experienced at least one episode of sexual harassment.
And out of 220 women polled, 131 have been harassed before.
However, most of them were passive in their response.
Only 9 out of 139 people harassed reported the incident to the police or the relevant authorities.
One of the few who took action is Lina (not her real name), a 19-year-old undergraduate who got flashed one morning while on the way to school.
She was walking towards Potong Pasir MRT station when she heard footsteps behind her.
She stepped to her left to let the person pass by but no one did.
Instinctively, she turned around and saw a man expose himself and start masturbating.
She quickly walked away and headed to the main road where there were a lot of cars.
The man followed her for a while, then was seen running away.
Lina immediately called her mother and told her what happened.
Although the incident took place over a month ago, she was still too traumatised to talk about it.
It was her mother, who declined to be named to protect her daughter's privacy, who spoke to us instead. The 50-year-old housewife said: 'My daughter was frightened and distressed.
'That evening, I accompanied her to make a police report. The man was Chinese, in his early 30s, wearing spectacles and a neon green T-shirt.
'He had on a white bucket hat (which) hid his face. He wore slippers and boxer shorts.'
The police have confirmed that a report was made and they are investigating.
The mother said: 'I was very angry with the flasher. I asked the police to patrol (area) more often. I also went to the area myself to see if this man was still hanging around there. I carried a long umbrella to hit him in case he showed up.'
While thankful that her daughter was not physically hurt, she has advised her to be very alert in future when walking alone.
'If she hears footsteps behind, she should turn and see who is it. If it's a man, walk away quickly. Don't let him get near.
'If it's late, she is to call me or take a cab to come home. We often take for granted that Singapore is safe. It's not that safe.'
|
DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE
1. As soon as the incident occurs, inform the harasser firmly but politely that the harassment is unwelcomed and unwanted, and that you want it stopped.
2. If the harassment continues, ensure that you keep a detailed record of all harassment incidents.
3. Speak to people you trust and inform them about what is going on. In the workplace, colleagues could help to defuse uncomfortable situations, deter further incidents and act as witnesses.
4. In the workplace, make a report to the human resource department of your organisation or report it to someone who has the power to make decisions about what can be done.
5. Consult a legal clinic or a private lawyer to find out your rights and strength of your case. Aware offers a free legal clinic, once every month. Call the helpline to make an appointment.
|
This article was first published in The New Paper.
| 
