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Shy to say 'I love you' but S'poreans do care
Mon, Nov 02, 2009
The New Paper

DEAR Dr Campbell, I think I can see where you are coming from. MM Lee can seem larger than life.

The fact is, Mr Lee Kuan Yew is a highly respected mentor in international politics. When he speaks, from Chile to China, everyone listens intently.

He is not just our Minister Mentor, but a mentor to many others in a complex world. He is indeed a wise speaker for audiences in Beijing, Washington, London, Paris, and Tokyo.

So why don't we use the word 'love' for our most respected leader?

Please do not confuse respect with an absence of heart.

The two aspects of your 'thank you' which stand out are: Saying "I love you" to MM Lee is somewhat inappropriate; and assuming that the word 'love' is not part of our vocabulary.

Proofs of love

While MM Lee is the father of the modern Singapore, most Singaporeans would find it awkward to declare their love for him. We do feel for him what you would for a father or grandfather you cherish.

We just express it differently. Maybe because Asians are taught to refrain from showing their feelings.

Fondness and tenderness and love abounds in Singapore, but exhibiting it is, well, not done.

We're rather British about this, it seems.

We'd be more comfortable calling Mr Lee "uncle" not only because he is senior but he is family.

A poet once wrote "There is no love, there are only proofs of love."

Meaning you don't have to go around bleating "I love you" with outward displays to mean it.

There is caring when strangers donate willingly to those in desperate need. For example, our readers frequently show their generosity when they read a touching report in this paper.

Of course, we know you're not implying that love is absent in Singapore, Dr Campbell.

Thank you for your sentiments and for expressing it in your way. We love you for that.

Sylvia Toh Paik Choo

This article was first published in The New Paper.

 

 
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