NEW YORK - When Ms Jena Slosberg gave birth last March, she endured a labour that lasted 17 hours. But her discomfort was ultimately worth it, quite apart from the arrival of her daughter Marin. In the recovery room, her husband Paul presented her with a pair of diamond earrings.

'I was on cloud nine,' she said. 'It was the perfect present to make a frazzled, sleep- deprived, first-time Mummy feel absolutely glamorous.'

She added: 'I wonder what 17 hours of labour will get me next time?'

This bonus goes by various names. Some call it the 'baby mama gift'. Others refer to it as the 'baby bauble'. But it is most popularly known as the 'push present'.

That's 'push' as in, 'I, the mother, having been through the wringer and pushed out this blessed event, hereby claim my reward'. Or 'push' as in, 'I've delivered something special and now I'm pushing you, my husband, to follow suit'.

Ms Linda Murray, executive editor of parenting website BabyCenter.com, said: 'It's more and more an expectation of Mums these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.'

A recent survey of more than 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38 per cent of new mothers received a gift from their mate in connection with their child. Among pregnant mothers, 55 per cent wanted one. About 40 per cent of both groups said the baby was ample reward.

Ms Sandra Miller is not among the 40 per cent.

'Women can and do expect a thoughtful token of appreciation,' she said. 'It's a way to honour a mother giving her emotions, body and hormones over to a baby for nine months, culminating in an experience which, when done naturally, redefines the meaning of pain. And when not done naturally, it's still an act of sacrifice.'

Push presents seem to have taken off within the last decade, particularly in the last couple of years. In 2005, jewellery chain Mayors marketed diamond earrings with the tagline 'She delivered your firstborn; now give her twins'.

Fortunoff, the jewellery and gift chain with a Fifth Avenue flagship, established a push present registry six months ago.

But the push present, unlike the 15-year anniversary ring, is apparently not the invention of the jewellery industry looking for another opportunity to sell goods. No one is quite sure how the trend began. In practice, the baubles are presented before or after the big day, or sometimes right in the delivery room.

Mr Michael Toback, a jewellery supplier in Manhattan's diamond district, traces the practice to a new posture of assertiveness by women. 'You know, 'Honey, you wanted this child as much as I did. So I want this',' he said, by way of illustration.

A more likely explanation is that men are now simply more aware of, and sympathetic to, the plight of their pregnant partners, given their increasing tendency to attend childbirth classes and help in the actual delivery.

Obstetrician Philippe Girerd said: 'Women go through back pain, morning sickness, stress and so on. We just sit around and take the credit. I think a lot of 21st-century husbands are a little more in touch with that.'

He certainly is. When his wife gave birth to their son and daughter, he gave her a ring and a watch.

The popularity of push presents has generated a backlash among some couples, who decry the implicit materialism.

'This isn't the time to give a $200 piece of jewellery,' said Ms Rhonda Grote, president of ThinkThougthful.com, an online gift consulting company.

'I do not think that because a woman has had a baby she requires a Tiffany item. She requires help, love and emotional support.'

Mr Ray Mears didn't give his wife Beth gifts for any of their three children, the most recent of them last July. And that's fine with both of them.

'It's a really bizarre and unnecessary thing for a woman to expect,' Mrs Mears said. 'For one thing, lots of people are giving gifts to the Mum, baby and entire family.

'Also, there's a lot going on when a new baby is expected. It's just not a nice time for a woman to demand that her partner get creative and think of 'the perfect gift'.'

Mrs Michelle Allen feels otherwise and, when she became pregnant, began dropping hints. 'I knew what I wanted, which is very awful,' she admitted. 'But my husband is a very romantic guy.'

Her husband Eric obliged with a gemstone-studded ring for each of their two children.

'I wear those rings every day,' Mrs Allen said. 'They symbolise my kids. There's something about them that's even more weighty than my wedding band.'

NYT

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