By Tay Yek Keak

A friend who loves only Fernando Torres and knows absolutely nothing else about football asked me the other day what a derby was.

I explained to her in terms any ding-a-ling would understand - it's what happens when Mickey Mouse takes on Donald Duck in the Disney parking lot.

The dictionary states it more precisely - a sporting event between teams from the same area or city. Like Celtic vs Rangers, LA Lakers vs LA Clippers, Real Madrid vs Atletico Madrid, Bukit Gombak vs Bukit Batok, and me fighting my neighbour over a scratched car.

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