For the first time yesterday, Chinese national Wang Zhijian, 45, took the witness stand in his murder trial.

As he answered the prosecution's questions, he revealed what was going on in his troubled mind.

Wang is accused of murdering Madam Zhang Meng, 42, her daughter from her first marriage, Feng Jianyu, 17, and their co-tenant Madam Yang Jie, 36, sometime between 11pm on Sept 18 and 12.49am on Sept 19, 2008.

A fourth charge of attempting to murder Grace (not her real name), Madam Yang's daughter, has been stood down.

Grace, who was 15 at the time of the attack, survived.

According to the statement recorded by the police, Madam Zhang entered Wang's bedroom around 9pm on Sept 18, 2008.They had an argument about his financial status.

He told her that he had spent all his money on her and her daughter. She called him a "poor fellow".

Wang told the court he had replied with something to the effect of: "You are inhumane."

He claimed she went on to belittle, humiliate and criticise him.

It made him angry but he didn't dare to talk back as he was afraid that she would beat or bite him, like she did when they fought previously.

He said: "I was so angry that I was trembling and in a daze. I couldn't move or speak."

Exhaling heavily and shaking his head, Wang told the court through an interpreter: "I am very uncomfortable when thinking about these events."

Couldn't sleep

After Madam Zhang had fallen asleep on his mattress, Wang said he couldn't sleep.

He then decided to go to the kitchen to get some fresh air at about 11pm.

"I was not only humiliated... I was also recalling all the unpleasant memories.

"I thought about how her family humiliated me, her brother threatened to kill me, I had no place for myself, my job was ruined, I spent all my money, how she asked me to get out of her house.

"It was like a movie where the scenes flashed before my eyes. They were incoherent and incomplete thoughts.

"When a person is trembling and in a daze, 'anger' is not enough to describe it."

As Wang went on to describe his emotions after the quarrel with Madam Zhang, he became visibly distressed.

Tears rolled down his face and he sighed many times.

Wang spoke about what happened when he was standing at the window. He said: "I couldn't cool down. If you put yourself in my shoes, do you think that I would be mentally stable?

"I was gasping for air. I was numb. All the blood rushed to my head. It made it worse."

He only saw red

He then said that even though his eyes were open, he saw only red.

He claimed that at that time, he was not aware that he had grabbed a knife.

Said Wang: "It was not to grab a knife to do something. I just wanted to grab something."

He said he then returned to the bedroom.

He said: "I saw Zhang Meng lying on the mattress and the light was not switched on. I thrust the knife and she screamed.

"I cannot remember how many times but I kept on stabbing her abdomen until she became motionless.

"Later, when the police questioned me, I gave an estimate that I stabbed her about 10 times.

"I couldn't control myself. It was like I was screaming inside..."

He added that when he was stabbing Madam Zhang, his bedroom door opened and he saw a figure in the doorway.

He was unsure if it was a person, much less who it was.

He said: "I stepped forward towards the person to stab that person's abdomen. She staggered forward and she collapsed on the same mattress as Zhang Meng.

"I didn't know who it was. The house was in darkness."

He later said: "I remember that there was a sound but I don't know what she was screaming or what I was doing."

But he said the incident was still vague and that his mind had gone blank.

Deputy Senior State Counsel Mohamed Faizal Md Abdul Kadir asked if Wang claimed his mind went blank, then how could he recollect things?

At this point, Justice Chan Seng Onn asked if Wang was shown any exhibits or evidence when his statement was recorded.

Wang said he was only shown a picture of a spatula.

At that time he said that he recognised it and when asked what he was doing with it by the officer taking his statement, he said he didn't know.

The trial continues today.

This article was first published in The New Paper.