SINGAPORE Polytechnic student Toh Jun Biao admits to being clueless about the female pysche.

He thought girls were attracted only to 'macho and dominant' guys. After all, in his secondary school class, all the boys with girlfriends seemed to be 'forceful' alpha males. So, he tried to be one, but he gave up when he saw it was just not him.

The marketing student, 20, realised only after taking the 'love' elective that when it comes to romance, stereotypes do not always work.

'I realised girls also like guys who are understanding and give them a sense of security,' he said.

Affairs of the heart are discussed and myths debunked during this elective.

The Straits Times sat in on one class and found a no-holds barred discussion on topics ranging from online relationships to premarital sex.

Yes, there were the predictable jokes. For example, students giving a presentation on the morality of premarital sex began by defining the sexual act. But before they could finish, a female student shouted 'Show us!' to raucous laughter all around.

When the ruckus died down, the students went on to list the possible consequences of sex before marriage, such as unwanted pregnancies, and fleshed out the stances of different religious groups towards it. The group, though, left its conclusion unresolved, saying: 'We feel there's no right or wrong. It all depends on a person's upbringing and values.'

That did not stop the class from asking tough questions: 'Is heavy petting okay?' and 'Is it moral to have an affair?'

Many of the answers were volunteered by the students themselves. A female student in the group making the presentation said she felt there was nothing wrong with foreplay since there was no chance of getting pregnant.

Unlike many other classes, there was no trouble getting students to pay attention during this one. They were all ears. Some told The Straits Times later that they were glad for the chance to talk openly about things that were just not discussed at home.

Jun Biao, for example, said he was surprised to learn that girls had sexual desires too. He said: 'On TV, the sexual aggressors are always men. Issues like love and sex, we learn from TV and friends.'

The elective also gives students a chance to learn more about themselves, like what they can accept in a relationship or cannot compromise on, said Madam Sukie Tong, who teaches the class.

The 43-year-old mother of one added: 'After the reflection papers I asked them to do, some students told me they realised they had been focusing on the wrong things, like looks.'

Bettina Hong said she now understands better how men and women are different, and she tries to be more considerate towards her boyfriend. The accountancy student, 17, says: 'I try to think of his feelings before I speak, so as not to hurt him unnecessarily.'

Jun Biao's friends teased him when he signed up for the course, saying he was just 'desperate for a girlfriend'.

But he shrugged off those comments.

He said: 'Learning about love is like learning how to eat. Everyone knows how to eat, but not everyone knows what a proper and healthy diet is.'

This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 18, 2008.