I REFER to the commentary 'Responsibility, not recklessness' by Leow Ju-Len (my paper, Jan 29).

Kudos to the author for advocating caution and personal responsibility when considering one's sexual lifestyle.

Thumbs down for drawing wrong conclusions and for calling those who are saving it for marriage 'prudes, moralists or simply too lazy to think things through properly'.

Let's see how the author has himself thought through his viewpoint, if at all.

First of all, he argues that marriage is a pretty recent social phenomenon in human history, and there should hence be no reason why sexual activities should be confined to married couples.

Well, in historical terms, the value change that came with the sexual revolution has only been around for less than a century.

As far as I know, the generations preceding this era fought in world wars, abolished slavery, and founded nations.

In comparison, what has the sexual culture of our generation done for us but to make us anxious about whether or not we have sex?

I'm not sure about his yardstick for success, but I certainly don't think that we are doing any better than our predecessors just because a segment of our society has stopped believing in the institution of marriage.

To the author's credit, he has noted that in many parts of the world, women are often subjects of slavery and abuse in marriages.

But what he didn't point out is that, in these societies, women are discriminated against anyway, married or otherwise.

Pardon my inability to reason this through, but I don't see how premarital sex would save them from generations of discriminatory practices.

In societies with a great deal of sexual permissiveness, women are still equally objectified and exploited for men's pleasure.

The only difference is that, instead of being used within the confines of marriage, they are now used before marriage for experiences of 'personal exhilaration', 'hitting home base', and some self-interested 'life-changing experience', as the author put it.

Saving sex for marriage is to derive pleasure from an intimate relationship when - and only when - you are prepared to love the other person for the rest of your life.

Now, that is what I call responsibility.

Mr Sebastian Ku Chih Yuan